Back to School! Part 1

Who Will Save the Children?

It is back to school time. Just before the area’s little rugrats returned to grade school, and the area’s angst-ridden teens went back to high school, the Health Department announced a mask mandate for all students. Of course, this is America and it is 2021, so this announcement was met with the social media-equivalent of the horrified hell-screams of tortured souls echoing from the Pit of Damnation.

Politician Jarris Rubingh is one of Antrim County’s representatives on the Health Department of Northwest Michigan’s Board of Health. The other member on that Board is Karen Bargy, and she is also the chair of the Board of Health.

Politician Jarris Rubingh heard the hell-screams of nail-biting parents, and he knew that someone had to step up and save the children from the mask-oppression. He and several other members of the Board of Health wrote a letter to the health officer and medical director. They demanded that the order be rescinded.

They were refused. The order stood. The poor children of the area got on the yellow school buses without enjoying the god-given right to sneeze on their fellow students.

But that was not the end of the story! For, on Sept 7, the Board of Health had a meeting scheduled. Boy oh boy; it was a doozy of a meeting. It lasted 7 hours. 7 freaking hours! Please remember, this Board is really only a financial oversight Board. They are there to oversee how money is spent, and hire executive staff when needed.

The meeting place was packed with concerned parents, and community members. They brought custom t-shirts, and homemade signs.

(By the way, if you invested in magic markers and poster board before this pandemic, you must be doing pretty well these days.)

There was an overflow crowd physically at the meeting, and there were also hundreds of people virtually on zoom. Almost every single person participating was there for a fight and they wanted to be heard. The crowd cheered the mask-less rantings of some hand-wringing Karen or Kevin. They also jeered the few who dared express a differing opinion.

PORN

Wow. This meeting had everything: yelling, arguing, lecturing … At one point, somebody hacked the Zoom call and started streaming porn to all in attendance.

Officials at ARRRG have not been able to obtain a copy of the video. So, we will have to leave the details of the porn to your imagination. We can share the Petoskey News Review‘s reporting on the porn:

Public comment ended abruptly after the Zoom link was hacked with pornographic images and everyone in the room watched awkwardly as the IT staff scrambled to shut things down.

Petoskey News Review https://www.petoskeynews.com/story/news/2021/09/09/despite-attempts-rescind-school-mask-requirement-remains-effect/5763993001/

That’s amazing, but we need more details. If anyone has any more information, please let us know. What type of porn was it? How long did it play on the screens? Were any Board members visibly aroused by the subject matter? Inquiring minds want to know!

PEANUTS

At one point in the meeting, the Board’s attorney lectured the crowd on interrupting Board business. She somehow insulted the gathered by using a turn of phrase. Yelling ensued. Check out this video.

LOL. Snowflakes. So delicate. So easily offended.

If you were unable to view the video, the Board’s attorney tried to get the raucous crowd stop yelling things and interrupting the meeting. She used a rather innocuous phrase and said that the meeting could not continue in an orderly manner if they had to keep dealing with people yelling “from the peanut gallery.”

Everybody started screaming at once. The gathered were offended, insulted, and horrified at being referred to as a gathering of legumes. How dare she insult them so!

One red face man screamed back at her “Why are you insulting us?!?”

What was so offensive? Peanuts are delicious and the phrase has been in use forever. Had they never heard it before? Is that what happened? They’d never heard the phrase?

POLITICAL POSTURING

Now that the porn and the peanuts were out of the way, it was time for pointless political posturing. As you know, there is no one better at that than politician Jarris Rubingh.

Mr. Rubingh made a motion to rescind the mask order. Karen Bargy, as chairperson, ruled that the motion was out of order. The attorney explained that the Board had no power to rescind the order and that doing this ran contrary to the law.

Politician Jarris Rubingh’s answer to that: Let’s do it anyway. Bargy was overruled by the majority of the Board and she was the lone dissenting vote.

Of course, this vote meant nothing. No orders were rescinded. It accomplished nothing. But, it was a great opportunity for posturing and strutting for the crowd. One Board member bragged that he was ready to go to jail for this. Another suggested firing the health officer who issued the mask order.

This was an empty, useless political stunt, followed by vapid tough talk, littered with dog whistles and talking points. These are the dirty tricks of politicians. A seven hour meeting accomplished nothing more than signalling political stances.




There is more drama yet to come. Next time, politician Jarris Rubingh continues his campaign to save the children.

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