Should We Fund 911? Rhetorical Continuance

At the April 7th meeting of the BoC, the sheriff brought a few friends and read a resolution from the state. The resolution thanked emergency telecommunicators and celebrated something called “Public Safety Telecommunicators Week”. That sounded fake and we thought the Sheriff may have been duped. So, we looked it up, and it is a real thing. we just have a holiday for everyone, I guess.

The sheriff also introduced two real-life 911 telecommunicators. He said that they were both 26 year veterans. Can you imagine listening to emergencies for 26 years? One was given an award for helping to deliver a baby. The other was awarded for his actions during a police chase. Exciting stuff! The Sheriff gave them awards, everybody clapped.

This gets us back to the question from the previous meeting. Should we fund 911? Politician Jaris Rubingh does not think so. He says that it is “taxation without representation”. He clearly opposes the upcoming millage. That is the very same millage that pays these award-winning telecommunicators. That is the same millage that pays for all the expensive equipment in 911 like radios, computers, and servers.

How does Politician Jaris Rubingh think that this all works? Does a cop just automatically know where a crime is being committed, and then drive there? Does a paramedic psychically find sick and injured people? Does the Politician believe that firetrucks full of sexy firefighters just materialize at a burning house?

This is typical of the Board’s Vice chair. He is always looking to lower millages.

Your local fire department might have a brand new, shiny, $750,000 fire engine. It can be packed full of hot steamy firefighters. But, that thing isn’t going anywhere without 911.

Should we fund 911?

You should if you want the cops to come to your house and arrest the naked tweaker who just broke into your house and is sitting on your La Z Boy picking his scabs.

You should probably fund 911 for when the ten year old hemophiliac decides to sharpen his sweet new Swiss army knife. He’s cute, but not smart. WE’VE GOT A BLEEDER HERE, PEOPLE!

You should probably fund 911 if you want to make sure that Aunt Ethel can get a good eyeful of those muscly beautiful firefighters every time she sets her backyard on fire.

Want to keep your community safe? Vote for 911, and don’t listen to Politician Jaris Rubingh.

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