Not a Democrat, Definitely a Jackass

Bridge Magazine said that the 37th State Senate race “may be one of the messiest in the state“. Uh, yeah.

This story is just bonkers.

First, some background. The seat is currently held by Wayne Schmidt. Schmidt is term limited and now the wolves are coming for the seat. Rep. John Damoose, former representative Triston Cole, Mackinaw City Trustee George Ranville, and Businessman William Hindle are running on the Elephant Party side. Dr. Barbara Conley is the only legitimate candidate running for the Jackass party. Two Antrim county morons are also running for the Jackass nomination, but we will get to them in a moment.

The Bridge story reports a scheme where Hindle was offered a $50k per year job to drop out of the race. This scheme appears to be designed to support Ranville. Now, Ranville and Hindle are basically the same candidate. They are both businessmen and are both into pushing the same crap: more guns, anti-mask, 😮 election fraud 😮 , Trumpy, blah, blah, blah. So, a guy from TC named Joe Welsh tried to get Hindle to stand aside, and not split the vote.

Well, Hindle was pissed off, and refused. Welsh claims that he was just throwing out a hair-brained theory that he and another guy had cooked up. Who is that other guy?

You guessed it! Antrim County’s favorite TRUCKER RANDY!

Trucker Randy is messing on both sides of the Senate race. He is running on the Jackass Party ticket. This is going to be an uphill battle, since he is clearly not down with the party, and he has already had to declare to the media that he is not a racist.

He may or may not be racist, but he is definitely a fraudster. Can someone convicted of felony fraud be a Senator? Luckily, we have a lawyer here on the pirate ship. Let’s ask Jim the Pirate, Esquire.

Jim, can a convicted felon serve in the Senate?

Jim the Pirate, Esq: “I don’t know.”

There you have it!

Randy recently hosted a candidate forum. The idea was that he and his fellow Jackass Party candidates could meet the voters. It was bizarre! Randy sat in front of the venue with another “Democrat” named Jimmy Schmidt from Central Lake. Schmidt is no more of a Dem than Randy. Schmidt leads something called the Schmidt Foundation, and has run as an Elephant Party candidate in the past.

Obviously the legitimate candidate, Dr. Conley, wouldn’t show up to this sideshow. So, Randy taped a picture of Conley’s face between him and Schmidt. He and Schmidt then yammered their ultraconservative nonsense for an hour while claiming to be dedicated to taking the senate for the Jackass Party.

So, ol’ Randy is offering candidates bribes, disingenuously running a sham campaign, and generally mucking up the whole affair. lulz. He is the equivalent to a political rodeo clown: meant to distract and covered in bullshit.

What a mess! And hilarious. All brought to you by non-racist Democrat Trucker Randy.

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